A Fair to Remember

I admit, it's a strange quest, but every year I attempt to finish out the summer with a trek to upstate New York. Yes, I have family there, and I adore seeing my sister and brother-in-law, eating wings and wandering aimlessly around Wegman's (the Mega Weg) but the real draw is to go to The Fair.

The New York State Fair seems to be a surprise to all downstaters. Whenever I mention the glory of heading there I get a lot of blank looks.

"There's a fair? A New York State Fair??"

Yes indeedy and what a fabulous array of glorious gluttonous treats, tables filled with free takeaways on everything from bunions to bass fishing and vendors galore. There's also the farm animal judging, pie judging, art displays and of course my favorite, THE BUTTER SCULPTURE.

This is art in all it's buttery glory. 800 pounds of unsalted butter (courtesy of Wegman's) creates this amazing refrigerated spectacle and I have to say, each year it's standing room only around the refrigerated showcase.

There are the Breezer-bys, the ones that don't need to look but are in the Dairy building simply to get a cup of ice cold chocolate milk at the insane price of $0.25. They look and if they see the sculpture terrific but it's no big deal if they miss it. Next come the Quick-peekers, they stand in line for a fast look but then they're outta there.

And lastly, there are the Mecca-Trekkers people like myself who press against the cold glass memorizing each detail and wondering as always, "How do they DO that??" I always stand there in awe.

Now if butter isn't your medium (and for many of the calorie counters, I can understand the desire to skip this), you can check out the Sand Sculpture.

This year, the sculpture was dedicated to the victims and families of 9/11. It was an incredible display of artistic ability, plain and simple. The artist captured the grief in a hunched figure of a fireman and the emotion of a city in pain. To see this tremendous display, in sand of all things, struck me speechless and hit me emotionally. You see, I watched the towers fall. From the window of our office building, like so many other New Yorkers and Long Islanders, I watched as the world changed forever.

I could say more about 9/11 but what is there that our hearts haven't said already in a dozen different ways over the past ten years.

 And what more fitting a tribute to how fleeting life is and how timeless love is than a sculpture made of sand.

Jamestown's Greatest Contribution

I love Lucy. I loved her shows, her timing, her sense of knowing when a gesture or a face mug did more than a word.

Comic genius doesn't begin to cover what Lucille Ball was, especially to the millions of girls who grew up watching her and thought,"I can be funny,"

I was one of those kids. Lucy held that magic for me. I could tell you episode by episode which ones I loved the best. Sure, everyone loved the candy factory, but there were so many brilliant comedy moments in not only I love Lucy and The Lucy Show, but in everything she did.

If this sounds like a gushing love letter, it is. I was. am. and will always be, a Lucy fan. I went to Jamestown, NY a few years ago, determined to see what the birthplace of Lucy was like. Jamestown, you didn't disappoint me. There are murals and museums and enough Lucy memorabilia that a Lucy fan like me can happily wander around for the day and be lost in laughter.

There are moments that every comic borrows from her, both male and female. In my efforts as a comedian, I have found myself thinking back to classic Lucy in trying to attempt more sight gags that appeal to all ages. But I'm no Lucy. No one is. And I have to say, 100 years later Lucy, you can still pack quite a punch when it comes to making folks laugh. I was watching an episode of Lucy and Ricky doing the tango while Lucy has a jacket full of eggs. I couldn't help but burst out laughing and I knew what was coming.

Lucy will forever be timeless, which is the goal of anyone who strives to make others laugh. I will never forget hearing the amazing sound of my 4-year old laughing hysterically and motioning for me to come over to the t.v some 16 year ago. "Mommy you just have to SEE this lady. She is so crazy," and there was Lucy. It was another favorite, the bread baking episode where Lucy is trapped by the giant loaf of bread. I sat down with him and another generation of Lucy fans were born.

Laughter never gets old and Lucy, neither do you. Happy 100th.

Hot enough for you?

Sizzling and baking is a way of life when you have pale, Irish skin. I could wear Coppertone SPF 96,4578 and still walk away with an aura of pink around me on even an overcast day.

Oh to be tan. To wear a white tank top or swimsuit and have it gleam off a golden sunkissed body. That is one of my secret desires, and one that will always (painfully) elude me.

I spent most of teenage years attempting to try and thwart nature. I was determined to get a tan. I slathered up in baby oil and lay out on a plastic chaise lounge for hours at a time in our backyard. How I didn't manage to melt into the blue and white stripes of the lounge, I will never know. It's amazing that I was able to pry myself off the towel at all and be recognized without the use of dental records.

Seeing my blistering red screaming-all-night--whenever-anything-came-in-contact-with-my-ten-degree-sunburn, I was assured by my sunkissed, golden tanned pals as they liberally sprayed Solarcaine, this painful first step was the beginning of a really deep tan. Patience, they intoned. A golden tan will emerge.

Somehow I never got off that first step. The best I managed was an off-white color, more of an eggshell, than beige, that was only visible if I took off my wristwatch.

I did however, manage to keep more freckles coming out on my arms than ever expected and still to this day, I dream, that maybe, through divine intervention, they will melt together on a hot day like today and I will be sunkissed and golden at last.

Here's Your Hat, What's Your Hurry?

My son wants to design hats for a living. After seeing the parade of designs today at the royal wedding, I think he stands as good a chance as any.


Note the interesting macaroni inspired Philip Treacy design worn by Princess Beatrice. There is something to be said for a girl who can wear spaghetti on her head well, especially at a daytime event.


And not to be outdone, her sister Eugenie is shedding those bothersome winter feathers in order to don springs lighter colors.You gotta love a girl who shakes her tail feathers!


And the fabulous Queen! Always a fashion plate, her hat actually can be used for a serving dish just in case there is a shortage of royal china during the luncheon. 


I am not worried about a future for my son the the designer. He has a wonderful imagination when it comes to creating hats. And it looks like as long as the Royals are around, there will be more than enough occasions for him to let his imagination run wild and crazy!  And what does Her Majesty think about that? I'd say she's simply MAD for hats!