Saturday, July 21, 2012

Here's Your Teeth What's Your Hurry

I just want to be clear here---if it was up to me, which it isn't but if it were, dentists would be forced to find the least painful way in the world to do their practice. Seriously. Man on the Moon hellooo? Internet??? Frappacino!!! We can't find a way to make the dentist less...dentisty, when we have to go?

I have always been afraid of the dentist since my encounters with Mad Dr Bonime, horror dentist of Wantagh who had a unique way of working through a child's mouth.

"That didn't hurt!"
"Neither did that."
"Stop shifting in the chair, it will only take longer."

Throughout this torture, there was one song forever playing on his radio, Juan Tonameto...my name is Juan Tonmeto...." Over head, so I could see the weapons of mass destruction, was a six hologram like owl mobile. OWLS! Not something to take my mind off the pain, no scary, scary owls that changed demonic color as they metal glinted off their sparkling beaks.

Dr. Bonime I am sure has gone to that great Novacaine needle hut in the sky but I am still here, trying desperately to deal with the fact I am facing life with some sort of denture type appendage that they can't get into my mouth because a) i'm screaming, b) I'm screaming louder, or c) I'm clutching on to the dentist's coat yelling, " HAVE I MENTIONED I AM A COWARD."

I know...me and my big mouth.

NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH

If you are looking for a great read, check out Fully Alive by Ken Davis. I have a side view here but the book looks pretty good straight on too. I bought this book and finished it the next day and it wasn't even a reading contest! It's an amazingly funny, heartfelt, terrific guide book to the greatest adventure of your life---your life. I mean your life...truly. So visit kendavis.com or check out his book on amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

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